First Leadership Lesson For Your Kid – Compromise
|What’s my role as a parent? Raise kids healthy and happy, right? That is physical and emotional side, the other side is spiritual – raising my kids with values in mind. How do I teach my kids values? How do I lead them?||
by HdO ~ Helene
My take is this – you teach and lead your kids by example.
I was reading Compromise Can Be an Act of Leadership article by John Baldoni at HarvardBusiness.org. Baldoni is a leadership consultant and a coach. He offers simple recipe for Compromise as an act of leadership:
I used it in practice with extreme success when I let my 9 years old daughter down.
Daddy Is Late
My kid was going to perform during her school’s annual festival. We set the time when I should arrive to witness her talent and success. I arrived exactly on time. But…when I came the show was over. She was standing on the stage together with her friends looking at me with eyes full of tears. She felt let down. I felt even worse. I let down my own kid. What a daddy…
I could excuse myself that I came exactly at the time we set. Who cares? I was not there when she needed me, no matter who’s fault it is.
Then it struck me! Use situational leadership. Use the situation to teach her values. Teach her to think outcome. Teach here to think improvement.
Find Common Ground
She approached me and the avalanches of blame were thrown at me endlessly. I looked at her embarrassed showing I am wrong and she is right. When she choked with her own tears I had a chance to speak: “Darling, I made a mistake. I let you down, and I am deeply sorry for that.” She was disarmed.
First common ground was found – that was easy. We both knew I am wrong and she is right.
I gave her a hug and asked: “Darling, what should your daddy do to make sure it never happens again?”
Celebrate The Union
We spoke and agreed on set of techniques to help me so that I won’t let her down again. The conversation was developing and then we became friends again.
At that point I took step back. I felt it was good time to summarize the lesson we have just learned. I told her that it’s always better to focus on future improvements rather ruminate about the past. Mistakes are part of life, the question is what we spend our energy on – is it accusing each other or do we spend our energy on learning and improvement?
What do you think was her answer?
That evening she had another fight with her 4 year old little sister over a broken toy. She started to loudly accuse her at first but then she stopped abruptly and started to explain how to treat her toys without breaking it.
The lesson was taught and applied in practice. She became a leader. I am curious what have the youngster learned from this?
Practice This – Get Results
- Think outcome, do not be right, be smart – growth is all about outcomes.
- Practice Wooden’s 12 leadership lessons – they are universal. Sports, business, parenting – you name it.
- EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is your friend. Practice and master the “Park” technique – influence without authority starts here.
My Related Posts
- John Wooden’s 12 Lessons In Leadership [For Kids]
- Emotional Intelligence – Core Skills
- Become The Next Great Mind – Now
- Is Becoming A Leader Actionable And Attainable For All?
Editor in chief – Jimmy May9 February 2009