Entries Tagged 'Communication Skills' ↓

Did you send a flame email lately? Regret? Sure you do. I did it few times and I wish it never happened. But why you were sending this flame email anyway? Tried to influence the other guy? The result – you just make one more enemy instead making friends.

Emotional Intelligence and Influence Without Authority are a broad topics that are out of scope for this post. Nevertheless, here is a simple technique to craft emails that help avoiding Emotional Intelligence pitfalls. It also helps building rapport which is the basis of Influence Without Authority.

by Evan•L

I use MS Outlook 2007 to craft my emails. I’ve created email template that guides me how to write the rapport emails (vs flame emails). I’ve also set a rule to delay each email for a minute – it gives me a chance to change my mind and delete it while it is still in Outbox just before it hits the wire.

Creating email template

While there is an option to build templated emails, using it involves multiple clicks which is productivity killer. I do not use templates and email forms. I’ve created signature that looks as follows:

[DO YOU REALLY NEED TO SEND THIS MESSAGE?]

[RAPPORT - MAKE THE OTHER PARTY LOVE YOU]

[UPFRONT ASK]

[EXPLAIN THE NEED, USE BULLETS]

[MORE INFO]

Alik Levin

When I fire up a new email with Ctrl + Shift + M I am immediately reminded that this email may be not necessary at all. But if it is, then I need to write it the way so that it builds a rapport. Once the email complete I delete the guidance part. To set up your email signature in Outlook 2007 follow this procedure:

Click on Tools menu in Outlook 2007 Click on Options… Click on Mail Format tab Click on Signatures… button You should see something similar as depicted in the picture only with your own signature - of course, you may adopt mine

You’ve just created email template that guides you to write emails that builds rapport. That should increase your chance to make an impact/influence without authority.

Creating email delivery delay rule

This one helps implementing “Park” method – Emotional Intelligence Core Skills.

1. Click on Tools menu.
2. Click on Rules and Alerts… option.
3. Click on New Rule…
4. Under Start from a blank rule choose Check messages after sending option.
5. Click Next button.
6. Click Next button again.
7. Confirm that this rule is to be applied to every message you send by Clicking on the Yes button (you should get this alert after step 6).
8. Check defer delivery by a number of minutes.
9. Under Step 2:… click on a number of and specify number of minutes you desire your message to wait in the Outbox.
10. Click Finish.

Done.

You’ve just implemented “Park” method – Emotional Intelligence Core Skill - using Outlook 2007. Each email will be waiting for 1 minute allowing you to regret and just delete before it hits the wire.

Emotions are unavoidable and can be both friends and enemies as Mike points out in his Emotions Are Your Best Friend and Enemy. Make friends not enemies. John Wooden’s take is that Emotion Is Your Enemy though.

Self Test

• Think impact first. Do you reply to email first then think what potential impact might have or first think if the impact you would like to make and then craft the email?
• Clear ideas - clear writing. Is your email just a rundown or well formed, easy to read, easy to act upon?
• Build rapport. Are your emails emotional or to the point backed with relevant materials?

How do you convince your boss to buy in with new idea? How do you carry out the main message of your presentation? How do you make your blog readers read your blog?

You make your messages sticky.

by Or Hiltch

I was reading J.D. Meier’s Six Principles of Sticky Ideas that he distilled from Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die. And it related to me a lot. The principles are:

• Principle 1. Simplicity
• Principle 2. Unexpectedness
• Principle 3. Concreteness
• Principle 4. Credibility
• Principle 5. Emotions
• Principle 6. Stories

It related to me since I was blogging on Basic Skills For Effective Public Speaking and on Glue Audience To Your Presentation With ZoomIt that are just about that - how to make your message to stick.

It related to me since I am on my quest to reach the Tipping Point. Sticky Message is one of the main ingredients to reach the Tipping Point according to Malcolm Gladwell’s book The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. The ingredients are:

• The law of a few. Which is about getting to know:
• Connectors (think of Darren Rowse).
• Mavens (think of Leo Babauta and Skellie for writing and Chris Pearson for WordPress and SEO - OMG, just seen he has Google’s PageRank of 7!).
• Salesmen (all of us, the underdog bloggers, who comment on their blogs, and link to them from ours).
• The stickiness factor. Read this post from the start.
• The power of context. Context matters. You can be connected, backed by good mavens, and armed by an army of salesmen. Out-of-context-ness will kill you.

Continuing blogging theme, the recipe for killer blog would be:

• Make friends with Darren.
• Follow Leo’s and Skeillie’s tips on writing and Chris’ tips on SEO.
• Pick your niche and stick with it.

Nothing new but it only proves that The Tipping Point theory works and that there are recipes for each ingredients. Here is a live example. Shilpan has made it in 3 months with Success Soul blog. The blog has rank of 42 on Technorati. I think it is very nice achievement for such young blog. Have you seen the number of comments there?

Got sticky message?

Fear of public speaking? Are you getting freaked out in front of the audience? I know the feeling. Been there too. Not any more. I adopted Dale Carnegie’s basic skills of effective speaking fundamentals.

by s-t-r-a-n-g-e

In his timeless book The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking Dale Carnegie shares proven practices for that matter. Among other basic fundamental skills I loved these the most:

• Keep your goal before you.
• Seize every opportunity to practice.

Keep your goal before you

To frame the goal and the overall course of presentation or public speech use one of the following simple frames:

KFD

• What you want your audience to Know? For example, “WordPress plug-in X is deprecated.”
• What you want your audience to Feel? For example, “Do not panic, relax. It has support grace period.”
• What you want your audience to Do? For example, “Install our new version of the plug-in. The beta is open for subscription.“

OMA (this one I adopted from J.D. Meier)

• What are your Objectives? For example, “Improve SEO of your blog“.
• What are your Messages? For example, “You can do it yourself right away“.
• What are your Asks? “Tell your friend about Alik’s blog where he shares similar useful and practical nuggets“.

Other great write-up I always use when preparing to my presentations and public speeches is PickTheBrain’s  Nail Your Next Presentation with these Classic Principles of Public Speaking. It helps me checking the flow of my speech against timeless principles outlined in the article.

BTW, does not it remind you the structure of the post? Don’t you want your reader to know something new? Do not you want your reader to connect emotionally to your messages? Do not you want your reader to take action, like leaving comment, subscribing, or actually doing what you have just written?

Seize every opportunity to practice

This one is impossible to overestimate. Understanding stuff does not mean it can be presented smoothly and flawlessly. Knowing stuff by heart IS the way to relax on the stage. Blogrdoc mentions a quote from Dr. Scott Peck’s book The Road Less Traveled

“Only once we constrain our freedom through discipline can we experience freedom most abundantly”

The other quote to support learning by heart is Anthony Hopkins’ quote mentioned by Pierre Mornell in his book  45 EFFECTIVE WAYS FOR HIRING SMART: How to Predict Winners and Losers in the Incredibly Expensive People-Reading Game:

“I brainwash myself with a scene. I go through each one 200 times”

Is not it perfectly explains The Secret Behind GTD and why it works too?

There is much more to effective public speaking - like storytelling skills and keeping your audience engaged - but these two are absolutely fundamental:

• Keep your goal before you.
• Seize every opportunity to practice.

Result

After performing few high visibility speeches I admit that focused and polished speech is most effective for me. How I measure effectiveness? I get business leads, I get invited to more sessions to present, I get nice evaluation forms from the attendees. Here are few comments I’ve got:

• “…excellent pace.”
• “perfect blend of presentation and demos.”
• “…His presenting skills were also good with a healthy dose of humor.”
• “great session with enough fun in it and a serious message“

I get less flattering comments too. These give me more food for thought and desire to learn and improve.

How do you carry out your message during presentation? How do you save your audience from boredom during 60 minutes of your speak? Great content helps, but is it all?

You must actively engage with your audience. Studies show you must make spikes every 7 minutes to seize your audience’s attention back. ZoomIt is effective tool to create such spikes.

by karynsig

ZoomIt is a free download and easy to use software. After you download and run it, it sits in your icon tray.

Using ZoomIt

• To start using it press Ctrl + 1.
• To use pen - just use your mouse and its left button.
• To draw a line - press Shift and use your mouse left button.
• To draw a rectangle  - press Ctrl and use your mouse left button.
• To draw an arrow - press both Ctrl and Shift and mouse left button.

Watch this short video to see ZoomIt in action - the video briefly demonstrates how to use ZoomIt.

Music by Gabin - Doo Uap, Doo Uap, Doo Uap.

I am curious if they used ZoomIt for their video clip :).

More presentation techniques

• Nail Your Next Presentation with these Classic Principles of Public Speaking.
• The best public speaking tip ever.
• Ten Questions With Garr Reynolds
• Speaking as a Performing Art

Presentation anti-patterns

• MEDC 2007 Worst Practices
• Life After Death by PowerPoint

When is your next presentation? Got spikes?

Meetings are the biggest waste of time. Lowest ROI ever. Here is what is needed to set and run the meeting:

• Waste time trying to find available time slot suitable for every attendee.
• Waste time coordinating the room.
• Waste time traveling to the meeting place.
• Waste time for unnecessary small talk at the beginning of the meeting.
• Waste time during the meeting to get back on track only because somebody decided to raise another unplanned topic.
• Waste time arguing who’s to summarize the meeting.
• Wasting time after the meeting to clarifying the summary.
• Wasting time traveling back from the meeting.

Is not it a pure waste of time?

But there are a cases when meetings are unavoidable. This is what I do to make most of it:

• Try to avoid it at any cost and suggest alternative communication channels. I always prefer using email. Phone calls yet another evil.
• Start meeting exactly at the time it was scheduled. Do not wait for those who are late. Those who come on time do not have to suffer.
• Make sure I know exactly who attends the meeting. Helps avoid attending meetings that have no impact.
• Define clear agenda beforehand and distribute to the attendees. Helps preparing better for the meeting. Meeting becomes more focused thus productive. "This is what we are going to discuss".
• Set clear goals/outcomes for the meeting. Helps stay on track and reduces noises. "This is what we need to get out of the meeting".
• Summarize action items during the meeting. Saves time for summaries afterwards. Helps avoiding roundtrips for refining the summary.
• Make sure action items identify clear outcome, responsible person, due date/time. Helps avoiding misunderstandings. "Persona A does B due to date C".
• As the meeting ends - read aloud the summary, and after everyone agrees just send it out.
• Finish the meeting exactly by the meeting’s scheduled end time. It should carry out the message "I appreciate my own and the attendees time".