| You heard it many times, right? Be positive, reject negative. Negative drains your energy, it holds you back from growing. Positive attitude lifts you up high.
What are the simplest steps anyone can take to build his positive attitude? How do I become a positive thinker? I found a good guidance in David Schwartz’ book The Magic of Thinking Big |
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| Positive thinkers speak positive language, they lift others, they focus on stuff that matters, they embrace change and self improvement. | |
. In his book Schwartz shares that like experienced public relations professionals, successful people always try to put a positive spin on everything.
LanguageUse optimistic language. Turn anything into opportunity – for the customer and yourself. Example: “This is terrific opportunity to improve/create value/fix/eliminate/save/generate/upgrade”. PraiseLift others – the customer, the product vendors, other consultants, even competitors. Discussing others and dwelling on their faults completely ruins your trust you were building for so long. If the customer starts such conversation stir away by switching the subject and focus on positive and constructive language. Example: “You have done great job. Despite the fact it has not gained the desired results we know exactly what to fix now. You efforts are very helpful.” Everyone Is The Best At SomethingEveryone is best at something. Affirm others achievements. If you identify a genuine effort that leads to nothing it is probably the scoping problem. It is never about person who genuinely wants to achieve the result. Lose small warsSpend no time proving you are right about insignificant stuff. Lose this little war and move to stuff that matters. Fight like crazy for your big rocks. Change Is Your Best FriendMake change your second nature. Change your approach constantly. Approach that fails in short term goes to trash. Improve yourself eternally – there is always room for improvement. The only thing that should not change is your big rocks, your long term-goals. Achieve it then set another one. Practice This - Get Results
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11 comments ↓
Men are more competitive trying to beat others while women help others, they form alliances, networks.
Relating to this post, from the points above I would say losing small wars is sometimes a huge issue because as a consultant I imagine when you go in to a company, you think you know it all and this could cost you big time for the job and relationship at hand.
And for men its probably worse because we want to be right and better then the other person. Where as with women they would most likely try to help you with that.
Just my thoughts.
Some people confuse optimism or positive with fake, but that’s wrong. If something sucks, it sucks. Instead, it’s about changing your default of finding the flaws to finding the goodness … take a look at the other side of the coin … and shine the light on the bright stuff.
I agree that we should praise others. When I look for faults that is what I find, when I look for the good that is what I find.
I have a criteria I like to use when ever I am handling people. I ask my self does this invalidate-dominate or enhance.
It is good to see a new post, missed you.
Sheila
Good reflection. From my experience, best friend of a consultant is trust - it is way too hard to build and it is easy to lose it. Often, the trust is lost when a consultant exhibits like he knows it all but never put results on the table. It’s better telling your customer “I do not know” and “surprisingly” deliver than “Sure I know it all” and deliver nothing. I am not saying you should run the streets telling the world you know nothing. I am saying coming across as know-it-all does not build trust at all. Regarding “small wars” and “huge issue”. It is all about impact. If the “small war” causes huge issue seems like you underestimated the war..
Always think outcome - this will give you the idea how big/small the issue at hand, and whether you want to fight to the end or just lose and move on.
J.D.,
Thank you. Ironically… when I was meeting a girl who is my wife now she thought all my compliments were fake. She was confused. She hated me even more for that. I thought it is the “war” I cannot lose. I won by showing the brighter side of me - LOL
I like your angle - reflecting and making the decision vs. being impulsive.
Thank you for kind words
Ever notice how some people feel compelled to tell you why their day is going lousy? Why they lost a client or, did not have as useful an experience as expected? Your reaction to negative people can reinforce or chip away at your base state of calmness. How ready are you to love everything and everyone unconditionally? This begins and ends with how you feel about your inner self.
Must be honest - I am far from being ready to love everyone and everything unconditionally, way too far from it. The good news is that I am less aggressive to fight what I do not like, many things I accept now, I am less impulsive with my decisions, building my convulsions based on reflection and not on emotions. Does it count for a progress for me?
Good to hear you liked it
Thank you for the recommendations - it is very valuable for me.
Regarding having a habit of being positive…. - I was naturally born heckler… even until very recently… Having i realized I am wasting my and others *TIME* and *ENERGY* w/o getting any results, I am stumbling. I have chosen to move forward, I did not want to stumble on the same place w/o progress. First I was monitoring myself depressing my heckler’s instincts. Not any more - it is my second nature, I am anti-heckler now ;)… though I still like asking questions, but those that can lead to some useful result vs just embarrassing the other party.
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