Get Criticized - The More The Better

By alik levin

January 28th, 2008 | Influence Without Authority, Motivation

How do you know what to improve? How do you know you actually improved?

Simple answer – beg for feedback.

I learn from everybody. Everybody is invaluable source for insights and new angles on what I do and how I can improve it. The trick is to identify most valuable feedback providers. I manage simple list of my life projects – family, work, social life, and few more. To improve in each project I treat everybody involved as a customer. My customers, managers, family members, colleagues, and reports are all customers for me. They are most valuable feedback providers. To help my customers give me constructive feedback I ask simple questions like “what you like/hate most with this?”, “what should I keep/change/stop doing?”.

Tune your radio dial to “Intention” wave

It is nice to hear “good stuff” or “very cool” as a feedback. Nice but nothing more. I cannot learn anything from it. If it is good I’d know that already since I was working on it based on previous feedback. Tell me what is NOT good. That way I can learn and focus my improvements effort. Get prepared to receive harsh feedback. That should not be a problem at all. I adopted radio dial metaphor – I tune myself into positive wave and always try to extract value ignoring the way it was expressed.

Family

My wife and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary since we are together. We admitted both that the fact we never fight is our biggest achievement. This was achieved by giving each other honest and constructive feedback. I challenge my 8 and 3 years old daughters with provoking questions trying to extract from them what they want most from their daddy. It is cell phone of course…

Customers

Asking for continuous feedback keeps on track both me and the customers. I set expectations at the beginning and make sure they are met along the way. Avoid surprises. Deliver what’s agreed and improve based on it.

Managers

Do not take responsibility of not hitting the goal. It is your manager responsibility. Your manager is responsible of setting the goal and paving the path to it. You are responsible for acting according to it. Continuous feedback helps prove the goal is achievable, the path has solid ground, and the actions aligned.

“Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” - Bill Gates

12 comments ↓

#1 edward on 01.28.08 at 10:04 am

Borring.You become to be borring .What wrong with you.Have no items to create?

#2 alik levin on 01.28.08 at 12:03 pm

Seems like you have read the post !!!
Now I have work to do – thanks for constructive critcs!

#3 Mike King on 01.29.08 at 7:12 am

I think the most important item here that you didn’t put much emphasis on is the fact that you need to be asking the right questions when asking for feedback.

What you DO is very important. Its not a feeling, appreciation, peice of advice or any other interpretive item. Its about what you DO or DON’T DO that can be changed.

Ask specifically for feedback that are observations in how you talk, walk, focus, respond, listen, work, play, challenge, ask questions and everything else you DO.

#4 alik levin on 01.29.08 at 11:21 am

Mike, great feedback. Resonates a lot with me. I just like letting my “customers” focus on what they love/hate more with me. That is why I ask such synthetic/broad questions. Once they nailed the topic - i delve into specifics - just like you suggest. I let drive my “customers” their satisfaction from me, after all I need to satisfy *them* :). If I ask specific question off the start, chances I missed more important areas my “customers” might be concerned of.

#5 Mike King on 01.29.08 at 4:05 pm

Alik, good point! Starting broad will definitely help find the right areas to then dig deeper into.

#6 Dale Fildes on 01.31.08 at 4:31 pm

Alik,

I think many people fear about getting feedback. It is natural to think we are doing things right, but to be told we are not can cause anxiety in most people. But you are right, the truth of the matter is we need to have the feedback to make changes and improve. Great Article.

#7 alik levin on 01.31.08 at 8:53 pm

Dale, consider another angle – most people do not know how to provide constructive feedback. Including myself – I fail time after time. I try to give a good feedback but in bad form and ruin everything, I try to provide negative feedback but try to soften it and it becomes useless. Providing constructive feedback is not easy at all. May be that is the reason people afraid to hear the feedback as you mention? That is why I adopted this radio dial technique and tune into positive way, no matter how the feedback is expressed, I try to extract the value out of it, the intention.

#8 Duck Or Eagle — Practice This on 04.18.08 at 12:54 pm